Family Storytime Gifts

'And you're telling me this, why?'

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

Swan Fairy Tales

"Just let her believe in fairies a little while longer."

The Poky Little Pupa.

'At lone at last.'

"Mmmm! Bears hibernate in the winter. Cats can hibernate anytime we want!"

Little Princess.

"No sweetie, it’s a beurk not a book."

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

'Put some feeling into it. I can't tell the difference between the lion and the mouse.'

"Good evening, Susan. We've decided it's time you get your own bed."

Biggles has a more staid adventure.

"Customers who bought 'The Three Little Pigs' also bought...."

"Because he's illiterate. That's why I have to read to him all the time."

'Tell us the story of Moses again -- I like the chase scene!'

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

"Let's see. Seuss... Seuss... Here we go. That's a medium box of bagels and lox and a pop on the rocks by seven o' clock."

"Mommy usually reads me a story, then slips me a twenty."

"Is this fiction, non-fiction or historical fiction?"

"After I fix your laptop, can I have a bedtime story?"

'It doesn't say what she had for dessert on Thanksgiving. It just says she made a coach out of her pumpkin.'

"Why did I start the story with 'Twice upon a time?' Because it's a sequel."

'The cow jumped over the Moon? -- What was SHE on?'

"Well, I assume the three bears went in the woods like all bears do. May I continue?"

'Moses parted the water so the Isrealites could go across? You mean in the mud?'

I don't want a story that helps kids make sense of the world – I want a world that lets kids just enjoy a nonsense story.

"Grandpa, tell us again about pensions!"

'Don't worry, he'll soon grow into it.'

'Yeah, year, I get the moral of the story, but what are the legal ramifications?'

Sleepy Bunny

"The prince, …. what's his back story?"

"Again? I read you your Miranda rights last night."

"And thirteen innocent logs perished in that fire they used to burn Joan."

"Okay, just one story. Once upon a time, there was a naughty little boy who wouldn't go to sleep."