Storytime Storyteller Gifts

'Well, it may appear sound, Mr Pig, but in my opinion, a huff or a puff could soon bring the place down.'

Noah's Nark.

How to murder birds

'And they all lived happily ever after, once the prince's lawyers sorted out the pre-nuptial...'

Parenting Skills Training

Wolf snacks vending machine: 3 Little Pigs, Little Red Riding Hood, Goldilocks.

"Grandmother, what big lips you have!"

"Do all boys go through a beanstalk phase?"

"Wow! You're not at all the witch Billy described!"

"What do you mean, 'happily ever after'? I thought they got married."

The princess and the watermelon.

Old woman who lives in a shoe with sick children.

'My bed time story sounds a lot like your blog.'

'Keep hiding guys, Bo Peep is still looking for us...' (colour)

'Go ahead. There's a men's lounge downstairs next to the men's restroom.'

"Why didn't Little Bo Peep just equip her sheep with GPS?"

''Open Sesame' would make a great password, wouldn't it?'

'Wait a minute...You're the enchanted unicorn?'

Quack Quack Gets Busted

"I'm the Ghost of Christmas Grammar, and I see you're having trouble with the past, present, and future tenses."

"Come on—Somebody try to catch me! Anybody?"

Shepherd and eurydice

"And the last little piggy cried, 'Oui, oui, oui' all the way home."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

"You're very interesting, for a civilian."

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

"I think the most rewarding part of caring for elderly parents is when they call you because they don't want to bother the 9-1-1 people."

Library sections; Fiction, non-fiction and do-it-yourself.

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

Come in, minion. What's up, boss? I'm writing a novel. It's a thriller about an intrepid caf

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."