Storyteller Of School Adventures Gifts

'I'm Kevin's teacher and I came to meet the cruel stepmother who won't let him do homework...'

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

WELCOME TO KINDERGARTEN!, 'Boy, talk about psychobabbl!'

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

'A dog ate my homework.'

'Second grade. When did you discover 'LMNOP' wasn't one letter?'

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

"The first week of school is just review. You know. Scenes from last year's episode."

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

I miss recess!

Lice outbreak at Jungle High (lion with a shaved head).

"Coming soon...what I did over summer vacation...the podcast!"

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

"I turned five. That's why I'm here. What are you in for?"

'Ok, class, let's take attendance. Joey?'

'School was really exciting today -- they busted up a meth lab in chemistry class.'

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

"I'm doing just fine ??" as long as no one decides to do a background check."

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

Social distancing

'Today, in kindergarten, we learned how to count to one.'

'I must be growing up. I've caught myself washing my hands without being told to.'

You're awesome, Larry! When that teacher said 'there are no dumb questions'...you sure proved HER wrong!"

'You might not know it now but I used to have some great lesson plans.'

'Dad, the teacher said my grades remind her of old times. She says she was your teacher too.'

"We've unleashed your child's potential—this is as good as it's going to get."

'Yep, I did eat his homework, but he begged me to.'

'My brother is going to stay with a family in France, and a French boy is coming to stay with us. Did you know your parents could exchange you?'

'When I was a student, wireless data transmission meant passing notes in class.'