School Story Enthusiast Gifts

"I stood up to the class bully like you said, Dad. . . then she punched me in the eye!"

"Ms. Trevor growled at me."

'This note from your teacher says you're doing great for a six year old. Doesn't she know you're fifteen?'

'TOLD ME YET. WHAT?'

"There's something weird about Emily. She actually likes school!"

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

'A dog ate my homework.'

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

'Second grade. When did you discover 'LMNOP' wasn't one letter?'

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

"I really love school. There's only one problem. I think not having a college degree is holding me back."

"It's Labor Day! The unofficial last day of summer!"

"But why can't I bring him to class? He's my therapy toad!"

“Hands, Rachel. Clap your hands. Why on earth would I say, ‘If you’re happy and you know it, slap Sam’?”

"Finally...school starts next week."

'I think my teacher has a crush on me. She's holding me back for another year.'

I miss recess!

"Coming soon...what I did over summer vacation...the podcast!"

A Grade Two student explains why he is so eager to get back to school.

"Get real Dad, those are LAST years colors!"

"How was first grade? I don't know yet. I spent all day in the Principal's office."

'I work at a school's Lost Property Office: I track down the owners of lost items...'

"Today in school we learned how to text our names."

"I can't believe school ends in three months! Sometimes I wish it would never end. But I guess endings make you appreciate the present."

"Math would have been a 'A' if you factor in the fudge factor. I got caught fudging on the final."

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

"I knew there'd be pitfalls when I became a teacher, but thirty to a classroom is too many."

'Are you sure I should read my book report to the class? --�It's PG-13.'

"Timmy, thank you for your science report..."Yawning is Contagious.'"

Classroom.

'Don't I even get to enter a plea?'

'You might not know it now but I used to have some great lesson plans.'