School Story Lover Gifts

'Second grade. When did you discover 'LMNOP' wasn't one letter?'

Teacher to parents: 'Ah - you're right. What do I know about kids? My biological clock went coo-coo years ago.'

'Tonight there's a small, select meeting of the P.T.A - just you, me and the Head!'

"I thought I'd get a much warmer reception."

"Some other kid stole my identity and got all my 'A's."

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

'Simpson! Stop causing low-level disruption in class now!'

'As I walk through the halls, I see teachers teaching and students learning and I say to myself, 'what wonderful school, what a wonderful world.''

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

'A dog ate my homework.'

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

"Tell me, Frankie, what time is it?"

Child writes letter to Santa reading 'Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school'.

'I think my teacher has a crush on me. She's holding me back for another year.'

"Yes, Donald, I know you didn't expect a test today... that's why it's called a pop quiz!"

'The first person to learn anything leaves immediately!'

Wanda takes a more proactive approach.

"Coming soon...what I did over summer vacation...the podcast!"

'The principal is keeping my teacher after school. She kicked the computer.'

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

"Math would have been a 'A' if you factor in the fudge factor. I got caught fudging on the final."

'I'm not late. Everyone learns at their own speed.'

'Don't I even get to enter a plea?'

'You might not know it now but I used to have some great lesson plans.'

Student goes through home room sees his home.

"We've unleashed your child's potential—this is as good as it's going to get."

'Sorry I'm late -- the Principal held me for questioning.'

'Yep, I did eat his homework, but he begged me to.'

'...All I can say is, the judge was adamant about his gag order on the case.'

"You like woodwork class then, son?"

"Sorry Santa, I DO want to go to school."

'Dad, the teacher said my grades remind her of old times. She says she was your teacher too.'

"Why do I have to learn to tell time? Can't I just listen for the bell?"

'When I was a student, wireless data transmission meant passing notes in class.'

"Your son has an unctuous, grasping, power-hungry quality we find unattractive in a five-year-old."