School Story Enthusiasts Gifts

'I do know the capital of France. It's the letter 'F'!'

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

'A dog ate my homework.'

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

'Second grade. When did you discover 'LMNOP' wasn't one letter?'

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

'I think my teacher has a crush on me. She's holding me back for another year.'

How I Spent My Summer Vacation: Page One

"Coming soon...what I did over summer vacation...the podcast!"

'I ran as fast as I could, but I still couldn't catch the Gingerbread Man...'

"Don't we like the Brothers Grimm anymore?"

"Math would have been a 'A' if you factor in the fudge factor. I got caught fudging on the final."

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

'Don't I even get to enter a plea?'

"I want a story that won't challenge my worldview ."

"The Three Wise Men followed a star...wasn't their GPS working?"

The Lawyer of Oz

'You might not know it now but I used to have some great lesson plans.'

Pay attention Mom. You're making the wolf and three little pigs sound the same.

'Sorry I'm late -- the Principal held me for questioning.'

'Dad, the teacher said my grades remind her of old times. She says she was your teacher too.'

"Do I read better than Mommy?"

Tony Weller and his grandson

"Stop fact checking my story."

'Yep, I did eat his homework, but he begged me to.'

"We've unleashed your child's potential—this is as good as it's going to get."

Teddy Talk

'I understand the school has a policy of promoting from within, so I'd like to be considered for your job when you retire.'

Suspension of Disbelief Bridge

'When I was a student, wireless data transmission meant passing notes in class.'

"Baldo, no normal kid is excited about summer ending."