Kids Who Love School Stories Gifts

"Look, Emily. We have no chemistry. All we have is recess."

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

Monkey Curling Lion's Mane.

'I'll give your note to my parents but our family policy is to never negotiate with terrorists.'

That's all very well sir, but is it full strength, low fat, high calcium or soy?

'A dog ate my homework.'

'Second grade. When did you discover 'LMNOP' wasn't one letter?'

"I thought your show-and-tell was really brave."

"Coming soon...what I did over summer vacation...the podcast!"

"Other than being sent to the principal's office, my detention, and three day suspension, school was good."

'You might not know it now but I used to have some great lesson plans.'

'Dad, the teacher said my grades remind her of old times. She says she was your teacher too.'

'Sorry I'm late -- the Principal held me for questioning.'

'Is this one of those deals where the names have been changed to protect the innocent?'

'Yep, I did eat his homework, but he begged me to.'

"We've unleashed your child's potential—this is as good as it's going to get."

'When I was a student, wireless data transmission meant passing notes in class.'

'I did have an eventful day at school, but nothing, in my opinion, to write home about.'

"Sorry, Celesteville remains banned."

'And with a wave of her magic wand Albert's fondest wish became a reality'

'Before I begin today's lesson, please turn off your cell phones, beepers and ipods.'

Teacher to parents: 'Ah - you're right. What do I know about kids? My biological clock went coo-coo years ago.'

'I have a rasp in my throat.'

'This note from your teacher says you're doing great for a six year old. Doesn't she know you're fifteen?'

'I do know the capital of France. It's the letter 'F'!'

"He's in an H.M.O. Get some of the King's horses and a few of the King's men."

Man sees door sign at Podiatrist's office: 'This Little Piggy Went to Market'.

'My composition is 'parental discipline and what we can do about it'.'

'Mrs. Wingit, what's the secret to teaching middle school for 30 years?'

'Young man, I don't like the look of that emoticon on your face!'

"There are three other Elijah Foxface Maxwells in his class already."