Stone Tablet Enthusiast Gifts

Get a move on, woman - I don't want to pay for an overdue book at the library!

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"I don't know what else we can do. He won't look up from the screen!"

Local rock claims to have been muse for Emily Dickinson poem "I'm that 'little stone' honest to goodness!"

Early Business Planning

Man looks at huge dinosaur fossil in garden, saying: 'It looks great in the rockery, but don't you think you should call the Natural History Museum?'

Pre-Historic Gentleman's Duel

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

Early accounting scandals.

"And here is the very stone that finally enabled us to figure out what all those dogs and cats were saying."

"The arms reduction talks are off to a good start -so far, we've agreed to ban pebbles."

Used wheels

"You think you have problems? My entire wing command was just destroyed."

"I think I know what your problem is. Not enough PR."

"It called a smart phone. Cool, but no service."

"My doctor says you should be drawing more fruits and vegetables."

"What if it's smarter than us?"

The first Dermatologist.

"I call it angle-poise"

The iPad Players

Unfinished Masterpiece.

"Apparently he needed an emergency hernia operation shortly afterwards!"

"Maybe you're right. Maybe the multiple exclamation points come across as over excited and insincere."

Some days Ted's head would get stuck for hours.

Caveman and prostitute drinking at bar talking about the world's oldest profession - hitting a guy in the head with a rock.

'Is the fire included?'

Books on tablets.

'I invented the wheel, and to protect it, I invented the club.'

"I'm collecting everyday objects for a time capsule."

'- and this is the drawing room..'

'He also wants to be domesticated.'

The first art critic

"There were hooves in my lunch! I told you I don't like hooves."