Stone Humorist Gifts

'...never take anything for granite!'

Owing to a clerical error, Luciano Pavarotti receives kudus instead of kudos for his performance as the Duke of Mantua.

'On second thought, let's try it the other way around... My head on a lion's body.'

Early on-line shopping

'We never had all these labour-saving devices in my young day!'

A prehistoric football match.

"Pass that."

'What's on the other side?...'

"Come on, Og, get with it. Everybody's putting their stuff on 'the cloud' these days."

Magic Act

'Art, art, art - When are we going to get some engineers?'

"It looks like it's an eye bank."

"I see you have the latest in accounting software."

Early House Hunting.

Garg saw the future, but didn't quite know what to do with it.

Og falls asleep at the wheel for the final time.

In the houseplant cemetery.

We love the Rolling Stones...

Emergency Room: 'Quick! Get some ice on this injury.'

'Kitchen's small, but I love the granite countertops.'

'We're renovating.'

"Good idea. Bad execution."

"Did I miss something?"

"It's alright for you - I'm a fictional character."

"Shoulda brought the weed."

Mashed potatoes...

"Back from hunting with nothing again?"

"I don't know. I just don't think this 'bowling' thing will work."

'I only invented money last month, and I already have four payments due!'

Driving Test: Roll/Stop

Hi honey, I'm on the plinth.

Auroch drawing cave paintings.

The Theatre of Mime.

Wanted to live forever, died trying.

Sir Louie the Bench-Warmer pumps up the home crowd, and the tide of battle begins to turn.