Living Statue Humorist Gifts

Hi honey, I'm on the plinth.

Zombie standup

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"The Eggsorcist"

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

"'Burned out,' Parker?- I wasn't aware you ever even 'caught fire.'"

"You didn't seriously think that one does one's own huffing and puffing these days, did you?"

Jackson Pollock - "Oh no! Someone's thrown paint all over it!"

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

"It's obviously an original."

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

Nude conductor of Orchestra conducting 'The full Monte-verdi'

'Have you considered drawing other people?'

"Pop, what part of ‘rest in peace’ don’t you understand?!"

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

Art Museum: Our exhibit of forgotten masters continues with What's His Name...

'It says this artist is making a statement about man's struggle with the rising cost of oil paint.'

"My conceptual artwork - documented in these photographs - consists of my going on a bus to cleveland, buying a blue hat, putting three feathers on it, and throwing it off a bridge in Michigan."

"How am I going to put in a new tape?"

Thinking about TV.

'You're messing with my head.'

Cartooning

"75"

'Well the dog's been passively smoking our fags for the past ten years, so I think it's only fair that he has a nicotene patch too.'

Artist, sitting in front of a sign identifying a bridge as a draw bridge, draws the bridge.

"Mira...this artist is getting attention because he paints all kinds of images on tortillas."

Convergent Fauna

"I don't know much about art, but I do know s**t when I see it."

"I can't draw horses."