Still Life Humorist Gifts

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"The Eggsorcist"

Cat with Nine Still Lives

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

"[UNABLE TO PROCESS THIS IMAGE]"

'What did I say about finishing your vegetables, Billy?'

Peter

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

'That's the problem with living with an artist, the fruitbowl is always off...'

"There will be a Q&A...but in this era of Trump I will be insulting anyone whose questions I don't like."

Prisoner still life painting.

"'Burned out,' Parker?- I wasn't aware you ever even 'caught fire.'"

"Cat with nine still lives"

Jackson Pollock - "Oh no! Someone's thrown paint all over it!"

"It's obviously an original."

'And the winner of the 'biggest loser in love' category is...'

"On Monday, they will introduce a new office layout and you'll be near Judy, who isn't good at sharing her charger. . ."

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

'Given the date, they must be organic.'

Nude conductor of Orchestra conducting 'The full Monte-verdi'

'Have you considered drawing other people?'

'Sorry son, I bought you an ice-cream at the corner shop, but it melted on the way home...'

'of course it's not natural: He dyes his mane to cover up his grey hair...'

Mouse eating the fruit in a picture

Artist and chiken

Art Museum: Our exhibit of forgotten masters continues with What's His Name...

"Gracie, you're a good mud artist."

A finger painting a painting of a vase and flowers.