Still Life Gifts

A bunch of human artists are painting a skull which is sitting on a stool, while a nearby tree is painting the stool.

Prisoner still life painting.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

The Still Life Revolts

'That's the problem with living with an artist, the fruitbowl is always off...'

Still life?

A finger painting a painting of a vase and flowers.

'Given the date, they must be organic.'

Drawing.

'Hey! Mellow out you idiots - This is supposed to be a still life!'

'See you tomorrow!' says artist to the fruit that has been posing for him.

Cat with Nine Still Lives

'Some days I just feel so stuck in a rut that I wish I'd never been invented!'

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

'What did I say about finishing your vegetables, Billy?'

"Cat with nine still lives"

"Sorry, but your life moves so slowly that the ball keeps timing out."

Amongst the rush.

Mouse eating the fruit in a picture

'That's right, Mr. Thomas, a bowl of cherries, we don't do nudes.'

Artist is drawing a mug instead of the models.

Artist and chiken

Do you realize, we're posing for Cezanne!

Boris Bike

Scarecrow Painting

"But otherwise I'll bet they lead very dull lives."

Artist's Imagination

'I'm an artistic genius, I bet no-one has ever painted a plain old bowl of fruit.'

Artist ignoring a nude in favour of flowers.

"Hmmm... that's more like it!"

"I was involved in an awful accident, and was in a coma for three weeks. Half my life flashed before me!"

The Painter.

Decorating Tips of Small Rooms

'Anyone want to get together for a still life?'

'...and that concludes this five-hour seminar on 'slow life'.'