Still-life Philosopher Gifts

'See you tomorrow!' says artist to the fruit that has been posing for him.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

Cat with Nine Still Lives

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

'Some days I just feel so stuck in a rut that I wish I'd never been invented!'

"You need to justify your own existence first."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

Caveman to kid: 'There's more to life than what you read on cave walls.'

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

'What did I say about finishing your vegetables, Billy?'

"Well, he looks alive as of 10 minutes ago, but the stream is frozen."

'That's the problem with living with an artist, the fruitbowl is always off...'

"Yes sir, I'm late. But I thought we were supposed to stop and smell the roses ... "

"So that's where you were last night."

"That's what I love about social media. I can have connections with thousands of people and yet still be completely isolated and alone."

Life, love and a lot of bananas.

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

Prisoner still life painting.

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

"Cat with nine still lives"

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

"Just when I’ve reconciled the fact that I’m in my 40s, my 50th birthday shows up."

" It was a jungle out there, but I quite liked it."

"I'm surprised I'm still single - I always thought I'd be divorced by now."

"You're born, you deconstruct your childhood, and then you die."

'Life passed me by without using a turn signal.'

Women

'Given the date, they must be organic.'