Still-life Humor Lover Gifts

'How much longer can I hold this pose?' (flower in vase being painted).

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

Cat with Nine Still Lives

'Some days I just feel so stuck in a rut that I wish I'd never been invented!'

Still Life With Nordic Track

'What did I say about finishing your vegetables, Billy?'

'That's the problem with living with an artist, the fruitbowl is always off...'

"Call this an iceberg? When I was a kid we wouldn't have called this an iceburg!"

Prisoner still life painting.

Help! Send fishing tackle!

Infection Control Center. Now Hiring. I should have said "I'm not afraid of hard work" rather than "I don't mind getting my hands dirty."

"Cat with nine still lives"

"It's not so much a minivan as it is a hearse for our youth."

How it started: How it's going

"Hey! I was trained in 1948 and was good enough for then, so it's good enough for now....whipper-snapper!"

'Given the date, they must be organic.'

'Sorry son, I bought you an ice-cream at the corner shop, but it melted on the way home...'

'Now, Mrs Althorpe, if you think you see the man who assaulted you, we just want you to touch him on the shoulder.' (Mrs Althorpe beats a man up and then says she doesn't recognise any of them)

Mouse eating the fruit in a picture

"I wrote my thesis on 'Tears of A Clown: Irony or Paradox?'"

'That's right, Mr. Thomas, a bowl of cherries, we don't do nudes.'

Artist and chiken

"I see you like to let your actions do the talking."

A finger painting a painting of a vase and flowers.

Artist is drawing a mug instead of the models.

A bunch of human artists are painting a skull which is sitting on a stool, while a nearby tree is painting the stool.

Sisyphus, 117 million years on

"I hope this isn't the start of an insensitive joke that was once considered funny."

The Still Life Revolts

Do you realize, we're posing for Cezanne!

Scarecrow Painting

Hey, who moved my easel?

'See you tomorrow!' says artist to the fruit that has been posing for him.

Still life?