Slow-paced Humor Lover Gifts

'It's an interesting effect: I tend to walk faster when I'm listening to Rock & Roll...'

It's an anti-tipping device, I thought of it while watching Drag-Racing on TV...

It's ok - He sleepwalks, but he never gets far.

I wanna find out about your let to buy options!

'Raymond, you're moving too fast for me!'

'Am I being too suspicious or do you think it's possible that they're crooked?'

Crap from the future.

"I told you. . . use your inside miming."

A Golden Non-Retriever

"Despite thoroughly scraping the celebrity barrel, that Orwellian nightmare Celebrity Big Brother is back on our screens again."

'Henry was an undecided voter four years ago when he entered that voting booth, and I'm still waiting for him to decide and come home.'

The Monroe Doctrine

"The way you look at me, Craig... you really see me."

Honest Voting Stickers

"Ah...summer...and umbrellas as far as you can see...it reminds me of England!"

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

Before disposing of useless information please make file copies.

Think tanks.

Evil Henchman Gets a Promotion.

Our large economy size packet hasn't been selling...it's too big to carry home.

Suggestions and Cheap Shots.

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

Only in America

'...and do you solemnly swear to update your facebook status to 'married'?'

"It's not so much a minivan as it is a hearse for our youth."

'I've seen nothing I've liked since Victor Meldrew!'

Police Lineup Escape

'For donating half my property to the poor, I'll get the 'Unselfish Millionaire of the Year' medal and a supporting receipt for my allowable expenses!'

Spying Smart TV

Traders joining Wall Street protests

Dollars Press Conference

"I don't know what that is, either - it could be the Olsen twins."

Euro Collapse

"Welcome to Alabama. Pro-life at birth; not so much after that."

Busy, Busy, Busy