Life's Philosopher Gifts

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

Son, when life gives you to someone, run, because it's not going to end well.

School of hard knocks: Mail box 'Knock-knock jokes'

"You never solve your problems. You simply outlive them."

"They say it takes 10,000 hours to perfect something- I guess I was a bit hasty throwing that together in 144."

Now leaving designated Free Speech Zone. Shut it!

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

'Is the glass half full, Wally, or half empty?' - 'Oh, oh! Trick question!'

Wally Begins research for his thesis entitled "who's a good dog?"

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

College. Did you pick a major yet? I'm doing a double major in art and logic --- I want to draw my own conclusions!

Humans...What is their purpose?

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"You go on in, I’m just going to catch up with the moon for a few minutes."

Ban on Free Speech

Historical memory is on life support.

"I think therefore I am." "Bow Wow, Bow Wow, Bow Wow."

Voltaire

"I guess I'm more of a why-wolf."

Being and Nothingness Pop-Up! (book)

"Let me slip into something a little more thoughtful."

'Chocolate milk, carrot cake,candied yams...see, there's a solution to everything!'

Jean-Paul Sartre

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

Freedom comes at a cost. We must be willing to pay the ultimate price. Retail.

"Je suis Descartes, donc, je pense."

The Philosopher Pine, or, The Eternal Optimist.

"So, what did you do at charter school today?"