Philosopher Pondering Life Gifts

"Sure, I've thought about quitting, but the pay's too good."

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

"Actually, I'm still on life support. I just came by to do a feasibility study."

Cats want answer to the big questions in life.

"Who's taking my order—the committee of the whole, or is there a liaison for decaf?"

"Call me?"

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

'Oh for heaven's sake, you're a cow. Just eat grass and be happy.'

George Orwell

'If no man is an island, then what the hell is no woman?'

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

"Talking to your own reflection? Even your imagination is pathetic."

"Wait... what was it I came up here for?"

'I think I just had an epiphany. How do I make it go away?'

'Contrary to the popular view, our studies show that it is real life that contributes to violence on television.'

"You need to justify your own existence first."

"More quarters! For God's sake, more quarters!!"

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

"Colin kept the bar fairly low."

Fleeting illusions of happiness hour 5-7

Free speech isn't cheap!

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

Et in Arcadia Ego

'Oh dear! -- Well, look me up if you ever get reincarnated, okay?'

Caveman to kid: 'There's more to life than what you read on cave walls.'

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

"Enjoy yourself while you can because before you know it, you've surpassed your 'Best Used By' date."

Aging Support Group

"Nihilistic customer service"

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

"Your long-range investments would have made you a very wealthy man."

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

I wonder what they're moaning about right now?

Bird in a chair with a human in a cage.

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'