Thinker On Life Gifts

'This computer system cost me over $200,000, and you ask ME the meaning of life?'

"Yes, six to seven weeks is my life expectancy! Once I learned that, I thought, the hell with it, I'll stop working and start travelling..."

"Is all this confusion and complexity necessary?"

"You need to justify your own existence first."

"Always take the bull firmly by the tail and look him directly in the eye..."

Aging Support Group

Caveman to kid: 'There's more to life than what you read on cave walls.'

Middle Age: When you finally get your head together, and your body starts to fall apart!

'I'm not sure what I want out of life, but I want a lot of it.'

'I think I'm getting somewhere. On the way over I stopped to smell the flowers.'

The meaning of life is to avoid falling rocks

"Yes sir, I'm late. But I thought we were supposed to stop and smell the roses ... "

"Death coach..."

"I said remember those extra years we added to our lives by good clean livin'?"

Unfortunately, napkins hadn't been invented yet, so good ideas were quickly forgotten.

Life, love and a lot of bananas.

"I won't have anything to worry about when I grow up."

City Bar and Grill - "Stop worrying, youth and enthusiasm can't compete with experience and treachery."

"I'm surprised I'm still single - I always thought I'd be divorced by now."

"Just when I’ve reconciled the fact that I’m in my 40s, my 50th birthday shows up."

"I thought I'd come back YOUNG!"

" It was a jungle out there, but I quite liked it."

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

'You may disagree with me now, Son, but when you're 500 years old, you'll understand.'

"From Zero To Sixty In What Seems Like Eight Seconds Flat."

Baxter finally gets a life

"'Cogito, ergo sum' is all very well for you, but what about me?"

'Life passed me by without using a turn signal.'

"You're born, you deconstruct your childhood, and then you die."

Women

"In a former life, I was exactly the same."

Who's Dead

"Last time I saw you, you were just a baby."

Illogic Tree

'True, I'm nearing the end, but at least, there's rarely a dull moment.'