Still Life Painting Gifts

'I'm an artistic genius, I bet no-one has ever painted a plain old bowl of fruit.'

Artist overlooks naked model for a bowl of apples.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

(Camel paintings)

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

Cat with Nine Still Lives

'Some days I just feel so stuck in a rut that I wish I'd never been invented!'

Still Life With Nordic Track

battered artist has painted picture of falling bomb.

'What did I say about finishing your vegetables, Billy?'

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

'That's the problem with living with an artist, the fruitbowl is always off...'

Prisoner still life painting.

Francoise Gilot

"Cat with nine still lives"

"While, yes, I could produce those strokes, I lack the context to position an image in the ongoing conversation of contemporary art as enclosed by capitalist forces."

Painter's Duel.

'Given the date, they must be organic.'

"This painting will make you so famous that you won't be able to walk down the street without being recognised."

Artist is drawing a mug instead of the models.

Mouse eating the fruit in a picture

'That's right, Mr. Thomas, a bowl of cherries, we don't do nudes.'

Cezanne, after he had broken the laws of perspective.

Artist and chiken

"The sad truth… Ow! My ear!"

A finger painting a painting of a vase and flowers.

The Hudson River School of Art.

A bunch of human artists are painting a skull which is sitting on a stool, while a nearby tree is painting the stool.

Close... but no Degas.

"Spanish ladies have nice eyes."

Shadow Artist

The Still Life Revolts

Do you realize, we're posing for Cezanne!

Scarecrow Painting

Still life?