Still Life Painting Gifts

'I'm an artistic genius, I bet no-one has ever painted a plain old bowl of fruit.'

Artist overlooks naked model for a bowl of apples.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

(Camel paintings)

Cat with Nine Still Lives

"Oh good, more time alone for quiet reflection."

'Some days I just feel so stuck in a rut that I wish I'd never been invented!'

battered artist has painted picture of falling bomb.

'It's not easy painting hummingbirds.'

'What did I say about finishing your vegetables, Billy?'

'That's the problem with living with an artist, the fruitbowl is always off...'

Prisoner still life painting.

Francoise Gilot

"Cat with nine still lives"

"While, yes, I could produce those strokes, I lack the context to position an image in the ongoing conversation of contemporary art as enclosed by capitalist forces."

Painter's Duel.

'Given the date, they must be organic.'

Artist is drawing a mug instead of the models.

The Hudson River School of Art.

Cezanne, after he had broken the laws of perspective.

Artist and chiken

A finger painting a painting of a vase and flowers.

"The sad truth… Ow! My ear!"

'That's right, Mr. Thomas, a bowl of cherries, we don't do nudes.'

Mouse eating the fruit in a picture

A bunch of human artists are painting a skull which is sitting on a stool, while a nearby tree is painting the stool.

"Spanish ladies have nice eyes."

Shadow Artist

Close... but no Degas.

The Still Life Revolts

Do you realize, we're posing for Cezanne!

'See you tomorrow!' says artist to the fruit that has been posing for him.

Drawing.

"You have a nasty case of 'A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte' by Georges Seurat."

Still life?