Still Life Humorist Mugs

"I'm sorry, but your last still life said you were constantly fidgeting, texting and sighing loudly!"

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

Cat with Nine Still Lives

"The Eggsorcist"

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"We think it has something to do with your genome."

Peter

'What did I say about finishing your vegetables, Billy?'

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'That's the problem with living with an artist, the fruitbowl is always off...'

The mysterious ancient stone figures of Keister Island.

"Being with you is just getting too surreal for me, Larry."

"There will be a Q&A...but in this era of Trump I will be insulting anyone whose questions I don't like."

Prisoner still life painting.

"'Burned out,' Parker?- I wasn't aware you ever even 'caught fire.'"

"Cat with nine still lives"

Jackson Pollock - "Oh no! Someone's thrown paint all over it!"

Artist uses connect-the-dots canvas to paint nude model.

'And the winner of the 'biggest loser in love' category is...'

'Given the date, they must be organic.'

"It's obviously an original."

"It's not my fault - how was I to know you'd look scary with your clothes off?"

'... And I'd like to thank my agent and everyone who voted for me... '

"So, Owen tells me you guys met in art school."

"On Monday, they will introduce a new office layout and you'll be near Judy, who isn't good at sharing her charger. . ."

Nude conductor of Orchestra conducting 'The full Monte-verdi'

'Sorry son, I bought you an ice-cream at the corner shop, but it melted on the way home...'

'Have you considered drawing other people?'

Artist is drawing a mug instead of the models.

Mouse eating the fruit in a picture

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Art Museum: Our exhibit of forgotten masters continues with What's His Name...

Artist and chiken

A finger painting a painting of a vase and flowers.