Stocks Satirist Gifts

'I see you've renamed your portfolios Moe, Larry and Curley.'

Spot the difference.

'This country is on the road to ruin.' - 'Well, it'll never get there in this traffic.'

'Let's just wait here until the federal stimulus returns.'

The truth is, Congressman, we didn't know it was wrong to screw people.

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

Made in China

'Blast it, Peterson -- What's this I hear about you letting our profits trickle down?'

'Let's hope the new norm means that less really is more.'

Fuel bill gone through the roof

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

'The recession is over, again.'

'Why can't they call it a deer, or a squirrel market?'

"They've made these fund prospectuses much easier to read." Brochure states; 'Give us all your money and get lost."

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

"Allow me to introduce Recession. Recession is here to stay."

'Agreed, 40 years is a long time to wander around, but think of the travel expenses.'

Early Attempt at Quantitative Easing.

Vinnie's Repossessions: A Turtle has just had his shell repossessed

"The economy's been worsening for a while, but people still don't feel it, Rudy." "...Which means we still have time to get in on the despair action." "Despair action"? "We're going to expand our menu. Add more comfort foods, more 'sale' items, debt consolidation loans..." "Nobody's dumb enough to get a debt consolidation loan from some random guy." "Ha ha hoo hoo hee-"

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

'The reason I have been able to keep my job through these turbulent times, is that I welcome change, especially if it's from a vending machine.'

The Euro - R.I.P.

'I think we're setting the bar too low.'

'Bad news on Wall Street. The entire stock market has been downgraded to a 'junk' classification.'

Money god

'Okay, let the minutes show we're not absconding with the money until the economy improves...'

'Wait a minute....!

Where Ignorance is Bliss.

"We need a market icon that reflects the ridiculous market conditions..."

'...and the Nikkei closed down on the day.'

Exchange Rate Going Down the Plughole

The Contrarian funds

'Give me something that will restore my faith in Equities . . .'