Stock Savant Gifts

"In an unexpected development, the market behaved rationally today."

Company Share Price - "The god news is we've become a very attractive takeover target, sir."

'While your word is your bond, at this point it's a junk bond.'

"Today, 'Greed' was up, on news that 'fear' was down."

"I left my boring dividends to fool around with capital appreciation."

Will Trade Derivatives for Real Money.

'. . .and may the dividends tomorrow be good . . .'

"Hello, we're Mathers, Thorpe and Beneke. Can your husband come out and play the market?"

'Now might be a good time to interject the GOOD news to the stockholders!'

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

'Stocks fell on the perception that stocks would fall on the perception that stocks were falling.'

"You certainly are a broker. That's what you've made me."

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

Man climbing line chart, planting profit flag.

'Now this is the kind of office decor I like.'

"Turns out that 'sleeper stock' I sold you was actually in a coma."

'I'm not sure this business partnership is working out...'

'I know you recommended that I buy that stock, but you should have been more persistent.'

'We need to schedule an autopsy audit to find out what happened here.'

Google stock IPO.

"Stocks dropped from their highs, proving once again ' you can't win them all'."

Businessman walking along Wall Street sees 'Danger Falling Stocks' sign.

Need Money To Resume Online Trading.

'Today, stocks rose on the news that the more people have, the more they want.'

'Sometimes I think the market is trying to tell us something, Ferguson...'

Wall Street Red Ink.

Stock Market.

'Hold on, the market is shifting again.'

How to Break Even - For Beginners.

"Up market, down market - he's still the same old curmudgeon."

"I say let the market rule it all. I'm not in the mood for working today but if the market needs me, he can give me a phone call!"

"Well, if it isn't Ed Dunlop! You used to be my chief stock picker."

"I want to switch all my municipal bonds into stocks, my stocks into T-bill and my T-bills into municipal bonds."

"I can't explain it, Mr Hefernan. Since your investment portfolio shrank, you shrank."

A statue of a businessman in a park with an inscription that reads "Outperformed the market".