Stockpile Savant Gifts

"Actually, I'm all ready for the pandemic. I still have everything from Y2K, SARS and the West Nile."

Mountains of Toilet Paper.

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

Bullseye!

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

The dumpster code - find something, leave something.

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

'Stay with me now, people, because in Step C, things get a bit delicate.'

Happy Surrogate Thanksgiving

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

His temperature appears to rise and fall with the FT index

Decision Making Block

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

"Up market, down market - he's still the same old curmudgeon."

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

"In an unexpected development, the market behaved rationally today."

'Get me some shares in public opinion.'

'Henry, I'm here to trim back your budget.'

'In the belief that no news is good news, today's financial report has been cancelled.'

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

"Subtracting net cash brings the P/E down to 47, and, finally, crossing out the 4 brings it down to a very reasonable P/E of 7."

'I think it's time to reboot your fiscal compass.'

'Today, stocks rose on the news that the more people have, the more they want.'

'Tech stocks performed better today after the market was defragged.'

A statue of a businessman in a park with an inscription that reads "Outperformed the market".

'No doubt about it, John, zero does represent a critical support level for this stock.'

'I say we try it.'

Prepper Dog

Made in China.

Company Share Price - "The god news is we've become a very attractive takeover target, sir."

'While your word is your bond, at this point it's a junk bond.'