Stock Savants Gifts

'The market goes up and down, up and down! That's why I'd suggest we buy pills for seasickness!'

The day the stock market went UP.

'Which 'win' is ours? Because the one on the left looks bigger.'

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

Bullseye!

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

'Now I know why the strategy guide warned against entering the 5th stage. Awesome!'

"We've called this special Stocholders meeting because we want all of our stock back."

"Maybe we should have another look at the 'business as usual' idea."

'Stay with me now, people, because in Step C, things get a bit delicate.'

Decision Making Block

'They say a fool and his money are soon parted. Here's a list of fools. Make it happen.'

"You will be visited by three ghosts - the Ghost of Porfolios Past, The Ghost of Present Positions and the Ghost of Commodities Future."

'Just to let you know the cause of your pain and my advice is Quite Watching Stock Prices Go Up And Down.'

"Up market, down market - he's still the same old curmudgeon."

'So far, sir, we've rejected plans A,B, C, D, E, F, and right now we're evaluating'G'.'

"Most of what I want this year is listed on the Nasdaq."

"In an unexpected development, the market behaved rationally today."

'Get me some shares in public opinion.'

'Henry, I'm here to trim back your budget.'

'In the belief that no news is good news, today's financial report has been cancelled.'

'I think it's time to reboot your fiscal compass.'

'I say we try it.'

'Tech stocks performed better today after the market was defragged.'

'No doubt about it, John, zero does represent a critical support level for this stock.'

'Stocks were high...then low...then suddenly high again on news of a new drug to treat mood swings...'

"Subtracting net cash brings the P/E down to 47, and, finally, crossing out the 4 brings it down to a very reasonable P/E of 7."

A statue of a businessman in a park with an inscription that reads "Outperformed the market".

'I today's market news, Greed roared back.'

'Today, stocks rose on the news that the more people have, the more they want.'

August is corporate earnings restatement season.

"Who's on duty today...you or me?"

'In today's action, the Dow Jones Industrial Average cratered, then soared, then swooned, then skyrocketed, then plummeted, then rebounded, and finally threw up.'

Company Share Price - "The god news is we've become a very attractive takeover target, sir."