Stockpile Strategist Gifts

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

Home For Sale - TP Included

"'Bidets are naff,' you said. 'No-one has bidets anymore,' you said."

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

I did it my way.

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

Gardener's Calendar: Try to put the other things back...

"If you really must know, Junior, yes, you were a market correction."

Standard And P****d.

'We were in the right place at the right time but, unfortunately, we were in the wrong time zone.'

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

Shareholders Meeting - We will be paying a dividend but I will not be announcing it here.

'Have you been talking to someone, Jenkins?'

Prepper Dog

'Was it Nietzsche who said, whatever doesn't kill your portfolio makes it stronger?'

'Long term I like energy and transportation stocks. Short term I like lottery tickets.'

Folding Container.

Stock market books.

"I invested in Chinese stocks just because of my ironic sense of humor - if it goes wrong, I can't even afford a bowl of Chop Suey!"

Wall Street Investing.

'Today I invested in some Chinese stocks, but I felt greedy again in an hour.'

To Stock Exchange

Stockmarket investor's trays 'Up' and 'Down'.

'After only a few years in the market I had a small fortune - unfortunately I'd started out with a big one.'

'Bulls and bears are my yin and yang.'

I think I can...

'To prepare for Y2K, I backed up all discs and documents. . . stockpiled water and non-perishables. . . converted my investments to cash and set up a wood burning stove.'

If you're so good at picking winning stocks, why do you still have to work?

'He runs a very successful hedge fund.'

'You're watching the stock market wayyy too closely.'