Stocking Strategist Gifts

'Blast these cuts!'

'I don't really believe in Santa Claus anymore, but I don't want to disillusion my parents.'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

Day trading.

World Economic Crisis.

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

'Hey, the quarter wasn't so bad after all.'

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

"He'll do anything to say in power."

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

'Remember, an economic boom is usually followed by an economic kaboom,'

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

"I will now fend off questions from the audience."

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

"What's wrong, boy? Has Google's stock gone down?!"

'Superstock'

What happens when the bears are running the market.