Stocking Strategist T-Shirts

'Blast these cuts!'

'I don't really believe in Santa Claus anymore, but I don't want to disillusion my parents.'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

Day trading.

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

World Economic Crisis.

'Hey, the quarter wasn't so bad after all.'

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

"He'll do anything to say in power."

'Remember, an economic boom is usually followed by an economic kaboom,'

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

Hedge fund sharks attacking 'The Markets' ship.

"I will now fend off questions from the audience."

'The Truth-in-advertising people want us to call ourselves the 'Sluggish Fund Group'.'

'This financial report is frightening. Who wrote it, Stephen King?"

'Dad 'If Jack brought 10,000 shares at $3 and he sold 75% of them to Larry for $8 before the value went down to $2, what did Jack end up with?''

'Stand back! All he needs is an injection of long-term capital.'

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'