Stock Market Strategist T-Shirts

"On Wall Street today, news of lower interest rates sent the stock market up, but then the expectation that these rates would be inflationary sent the market down, until the realization that lower rates might stimulate the sluggish economy pushed the mark

Humpty Dumpty sat on a Wall Street

'Basically it's a stock that if a chain of near miraculous events would happen to occur, you'd make a bundle.'

"Sure, it may be great for us, but it's hell on the markets."

"Analysts blamed the market's volatility on computer-directed trading while computers blamed it on analyst-directed trading."

Bull Arm Wrestling A Bear.

"Today on Wall Street, yesterday's panic selling was replaced by panic buying."

'Your best hedge against a down market is having lots of money.'

Papa bear plays the stockmarket.

"Of all the markets, in all the world, you had to walk into mine."

"If we're being honest, it was your decision to follow my recommendations that cost you money."

'...the new investing regulations...'

'We're expecting stocks to rally but we don't know which ones and when.'

Sold before the boom.../Bought before the crash.

Handled all of my own investments

'Could you bring me the new investment regulations you downloaded yesterday?' 'It's still downloading.'

"We know stocks will go up but we don't know which ones or when."

"Just sign here, sir - it clears me of any responsibility."

'Ready for another roll of the dice?'

'Whose idea was it that we give our investors full disclosure?'

Blame the messenger.

'And to think, it all started with a butterfly just flapping its wings in China.'

'...and then the DOW rallied six hundred points and the three bears felt like idiots...'

'It was the best of investment times, it was the worst of investment times...' (A Tale of Two Markets).

Shareholders Meeting: 'Mr Kenny will now take friendly fire from the audience.'

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

"We'll have an economic forecast in a minute, Mr. Snell. We're just crunching the numbers now."

"This bond is so boring we gave it a Z-Z-Z-Z-Z-Z rating."

"Actually, 'Monkey see, monkey do' has served me quite well in this market."

'The good news, Sir, is that Harris was able to sell off our losing stock. The bad news is that Simpson here, bought them from Harris.'

'This app is linked to my financial advisor and provides stimulated hand-holding when the market is down.'

'I don't know about you, but I really don't like the look of that yield curve.'

Day trading.

A bull does his work with a bear head on the wall.

'And remember, son, never put in your two cents worth...'