Stock Trading Strategist T-Shirts

'Twenty percent bluechips, ten percent small-caps, five percent currency hedges and the remainder in cash. Get that list to Santa right away.'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

Day trading.

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

World Economic Crisis.

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

'Hey, the quarter wasn't so bad after all.'

You can breed these if the environment is right.

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

"He'll do anything to say in power."

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

'Are we broke yet?'

'The recession is over, again.'

"I just..."

"Well, Comstock, still regret putting our profits back into research?"

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.