Stock Strategists T-Shirts

"We're a hedge fund, Mr Marney, so I'm putting your allocation at 30% stocks, 30% bonds, and 40% bushes."

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

Day trading.

World Economic Crisis.

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

'Hey, the quarter wasn't so bad after all.'

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

You can breed these if the environment is right.

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"I just..."

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

'The recession is over, again.'

"Ed and Helen's portfolio rose 3 point today on Dave's purchase of 100 shares..."

"We're counting on you to reverse this trend before this afternoon's investors meeting."

"He'll do anything to say in power."

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.