Stock Strategists Pillows

"We're a hedge fund, Mr Marney, so I'm putting your allocation at 30% stocks, 30% bonds, and 40% bushes."

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

'I think I know what the problem is!'

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

Day trading.

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

World Economic Crisis.

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

'Hey, the quarter wasn't so bad after all.'

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

You can breed these if the environment is right.

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."

'Are we broke yet?'

'For Harland, the only game in town is the bulls versus the bears...'

Our Motto: Buy Low Sell High is the Best Revenge.'

"Ahh... don't you just LOVE that new, re-organized-under-bankruptcy-protection smell?"

"I just..."

'The recession is over, again.'

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"At these tuition prices an acceptance letter is pretty much a denial."

"He'll do anything to say in power."

I was trying to day trade my way through business school, but then the stock market tanked.