Investment Strategists Pillows

'I'm saving up for a hedge.'

'I'm being denied access to the Warren Buffett within me.'

"I can help you get your finances back in shape – you've just got to believe in me."

"I need a professional money manager. The success of my investment portfolio is predicated on my winning the lottery."

'This is our golden anniversary. Let's invest in gold.'

'Making money in the stock market is liking shooting fish in a barrel, except you're in New York and the barrel's in L.A.'

'Well! Another near miss! Remind me not to listen to you next time you say it's okay to move in downstairs from a young family and that's not the reason the place was so cheap!'

'When you said you're a contrarian, I just assumed you meant your investment style, Mr. Kobenz.'

'This graph may need some explaining...'

'Oh, we would never throw money at anything...we love money too much.'

"Guard this with your life. The value of gold has gone way up against the dollar."

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

"Gentlemen, we're missing a great opportunity by not hitching this company to the current tailspin."

Build Your Own Portfolio

Investments - remember, you are what you invest in!

'Investment charts can be complicated, son, but that usually means, 'bonuses'.'

Thanks to the financial business scientists know it for sure now - Black Holes really exist!

'Now that we've defined 'happy deficits' let's try it out on the stockholders.'

Investments - Founders Bear and Bull.

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"Okay, money doesn't make you happy. So how about commodity futures?"

Economic Outlook Conference - 'Remember the seating is optimist, pessimist, optimist,...'

Day trading.

'The bad news is it's all our client's money.'

World Economic Crisis.

'He's refusing to die as a protest against Inheritance Tax.'

'Hey, the quarter wasn't so bad after all.'

'When investment bankers give parental advice'

'... And this is Goldsmith, our futures consultant.'

"I'm not telling you to stay. I'm talking to the stock market."