Stockpiling Gifts

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

'To prepare for Y2K, I backed up all discs and documents. . . stockpiled water and non-perishables. . . converted my investments to cash and set up a wood burning stove.'

Prepper Dog

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

Why do you need so many computers?

His temperature appears to rise and fall with the FT index

Bug hanging up stockings

"There is a great deal of evidence that big savings can be made if departments shared resources... But I suspect that implementing the changes might be problematic if we can't even get Norman to lend out his pencil sharpener."

'Look, if we're going to make this business work, we need to stop eating all the stock.'

"Why, Ed Dunlop! Didn't you used to be my chief stock picker?"

'Do we have any stocks rated 'cute'?'

Stocktaker counts contents of baked-bean tins.

'Our vows didn't say anything about hedge fund mis-management!'

"We are now required to tell you to fasten your seatbelt for the following Stock Market report...."

'I don't really believe in Santa Claus anymore, but I don't want to disillusion my parents.'

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

"...and then I'll tell you when I plan to go on holiday."

"Did you order 8000 tins of beans, 10,000 litres of water, 400 bottles of vitamins C tablets, 500 rolls of tin foil. . ."

"I'm stockpiling food for a 'No Deal' Brexit."

'Blast these cuts!'

'Darn it Mother! I'm not MISSING! I'm just working DOUBLES this month!'

Home For Sale - TP Included

Get Rich and Get Even

Mountains of Toilet Paper.

"I like it when Mr. Rod speaks in Spanish...it usually means he's just done all our work for us."

"This is the worst job in the whole, entire world! You know, I can't see how anybody would ever want this job."

"Actually, I'm all ready for the pandemic. I still have everything from Y2K, SARS and the West Nile."

'Got anything past its expiration date?'

'We may run out of toys. Will you accept stocks and bonds.'

"You guys have it made."

"Now, pay attention to my counting! The accurate stocktake of Winter provisions is a vital life skill for squirrels..."

"Panic-buying in expectation of a public sector strike."

"Congratulations! You've won a lifetime supply of school supplies."

"'Bidets are naff,' you said. 'No-one has bidets anymore,' you said."