Food Stockpile Aficionado Gifts

"I'm stockpiling food for a 'No Deal' Brexit."

Church Basement Foodie

"I used to be a vegetarian. Then I became a vegan. Then a fruitarian. Now I only eat manna that falls from Heaven."

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

Bug hanging up stockings

A centipede's Christmas stockings

"I thought I was a hoarder, but it turns out I'm a prepper."

"The checkout clerk will now testily remind you to press 'ok'."

"I was hoping Calvin would grow up to be top sirloin..."

Prepper Dog

'I don't know about this new computer inventory system. It just ordered a thousand left handed four fingered surgical gloves.'

'Isn't it great? It gives us four times the storage space as a regular fridge!'

Matador Artificial Insemination.

'To prepare for Y2K, I backed up all discs and documents. . . stockpiled water and non-perishables. . . converted my investments to cash and set up a wood burning stove.'

'I knew I needed help when I started going to fast food places only at night so I wouldn't have to share with sea gulls.'

Christmas Cow.

"Just picking up some Super Bowl provisions."

"But part of me hopes there never is an Armageddon."

Ants take cheese and grater

Camper special! PORK 'N' BEANS...50 gallons...only $49.99...Limit: 3 per customer.

"After that, our marriage ripened into a divorce."

Meats

"Keep it open."

Home For Sale - TP Included

"When water turns into ice, which of its physical properties increases?"

'Now let's see...We need fodder...'

'Ugh! I think it's past its sell-by date.'

'Everything is spoiled. Don't tell me it's not cyberhacking.'

Colin had standards, and not eating 'own brand' food was one of them.....

"Working remotely is great. My commute is a breeze. My co-worker is adorable, and my pantry has never been so organized."

"It's like we're living in a banana republic, only without the bananas."

'They're shaking hands: Looks like we'll be part of the Bride's dowry...'

Supermarkets

Sometimes hearing, 'You're nuts!' is a good thing.

"He threw a huge fit at the grocery store."