Food Storage Enthusiast Gifts

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"I chose to stand up to special interest groups!"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

Party time.

"Yes, it's a safe: I was fed up with my winter provisions being raided by freeloaders!"

"What time did you say you wanted me to start drinking?"

'The vegetables sat in the crisper for hours...days...a whole week. Then suddenly, the drawer opened. A hand reached in, grabbed the kale, and all you could hear was the sound of...A Garbage disposal.'

"We've misjudged the tapas again."

"Your meal sounded nice."

"I'll be glad when the television is fixed."

You're the sizzle in my roast!

"I hope you're not using any of the canned food I so diligently stockpiled.

'Do we have any alligator pears?'

"This crew gets 15 miles to the pound of gruel. They're very fuel efficient."

''I'm totally committed to simplifying my life. No more shitake jalapeno pesto.'

Dad's old fashioned barbeque

Thermidor Dali

"The special is… pine nut encrusted… filet of salmon… in a balsamic wine reduction."

'I decided to start buying food in bulk. I hope you're hungry!'

'Are you sure these sprouts aren't GM?.'

'Pumpkin pie isn't dessert. It's another vegetable.'

Snacks for Learners

"He'd like the broiled monkfish, too, but first he's having a quick taste of the gutter."

As soon as he began speaking Manuel's Spanish accent was unmistakeable and he was evicted from the Local food group.

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

"And this is my oldest son I was telling you about. The one that eats like a horse."

'I need a lot of trunk space.'

'I don't know about this new computer inventory system. It just ordered a thousand left handed four fingered surgical gloves.'

"I bought you a cook book. Think of it as technical support."

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

Empty landscape containing food and stationery.