Food Hoarder Gifts

'I knew I needed help when I started going to fast food places only at night so I wouldn't have to share with sea gulls.'

Sometimes hearing, 'You're nuts!' is a good thing.

"I hate going to the grocery store, so I bought a refrigerator that holds enough food for a year."

'That's our mission statement.'

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

Old Spice

"There is a great deal of evidence that big savings can be made if departments shared resources... But I suspect that implementing the changes might be problematic if we can't even get Norman to lend out his pencil sharpener."

'Isn't it great? It gives us four times the storage space as a regular fridge!'

'Look, if we're going to make this business work, we need to stop eating all the stock.'

I see you've caught my honey robber.'

"Tia Carmen's Bucket List: pulling a 7-day telenovela bender."

"Bad news Dad, I've just received an e-Alert: The farmer's wife has downloaded a "Coq au Vin" recipe..."

Were you aware, minion, that bees are dying off by the millions all over North America? No. Studies show it was caused by a certain type of pesticide that was introduced in the 1990s. A pesticide that nobody can prove was concocted by a young man in my - I mean, his - basement. Anyone who thought ahead and stocked an underground cavern with 50 tons of honey is going to clean up. Hypothetically speaking, of course. Very bad man.

Man emerges from baby changing room, having changed his baby for a crate of beer.

'I hear he's lobbying for tax laws that will let him declare us his dependents.'

'You have a file cabinet full of recipes you're printed off. The only way 99% of them will ever make it into our stomachs is if we the printer paper.'

"You just can't accept that I've found someone 'extra special'." Best bitter / Pale Ale / Tennants Very Very Strong Lager.

"I need a vet."

Camper special! PORK 'N' BEANS...50 gallons...only $49.99...Limit: 3 per customer.

'It's my secret recipe.'

'I'll tell you my secret peanut butter recipe, but please don't spread it.'

Ants take cheese and grater

'Biscuit?' 'Leave it in the in-tray for the morning.'

"I'm stockpiling food for a 'No Deal' Brexit."

'Are you eligible to join 'Miser' the high accrue society?'

'I think I'll get out of the crazy stock market and invest in something secure, something like bee keeping.'

"By the time you take my picture and email it to Grandma, all the good candy will be gone!"

"I lost my hunger a long time ago, but luckily, I found my greed."

"We've got 749 cookbooks...why are we eating cheese on toast?"

A barrage of CDs.

"Hey, do I look like I'm made of honey?"

"I will not buy a fridge magnet. . ."

"I got this many because I heard there was a shortage."

'The test-results are back... I'm afraid it's quite serious: You're allergic to pollen...'

No Smoking sign next to a bee hive.