Recipe Hoarder Gifts

"Bad news Dad, I've just received an e-Alert: The farmer's wife has downloaded a "Coq au Vin" recipe..."

'I'll tell you my secret peanut butter recipe, but please don't spread it.'

'It's my secret recipe.'

"We've got 749 cookbooks...why are we eating cheese on toast?"

Come dine with me!

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

Contrary to popular belief, the road to Hell is paved with a comprehensive, lifetime tax return.

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

'Men's cooking'

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

Vegetable Cook

How to correctly estimate cooking time

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

An Advance Visit From The Three Wise Men

How to make an unforgettable dinner for four

Old Spice

"My Gmail account is full. I can't get any more email." "So?" "I'll miss email. It was so old-timey. You could write hundreds or even thousands of words, with actual paragraphs." "People didn't see any little animations to show them you were typing. They had to actually wonder if you were going to reply." "And the spam was fun. You never got to hear from Nigerian princes while you're checking your texts." "Just delete stuff." "If you delete a few gigs of old emails, you'll be able to get n

Cook in the cookery section.

"Then add one extra large egg..."

Seminal moments in Chicken History

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

My old recipes have so many food stains they're practically scratch and sniff.

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

A man with a sign that reads "Secret of my chili $1".

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."