Habitual Hoarder Gifts

"I will not buy a fridge magnet. . ."

'That's our mission statement.'

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

'And the cat is due back in 2 weeks.'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

Self-Help Books Families for Lockdown

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

'We'll take two sets, for upstairs and downstairs.'

Dictionary Sale - Now in High Definition.

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

Festive squad

"Enough with the garage sales, Harold."

"Boy, these are really overdue!"

Sign on a sale bin at a bookstore that reads "Latte-Damaged Books".

"Did you hear? It turns out old power cords are really valuable! Good things Dad kept them!"

'I knew I needed help when I started going to fast food places only at night so I wouldn't have to share with sea gulls.'

"If we get a bigger place, we'll just accumulate more giraffes."

Young Geeks.

"My father said I was too big for my britches!"

'Looks like they decided not to g south this winter.'

"Buckle up. We're in the midst of an unprecedented breadcrumb recession."

'The sagaman must have had a googol of inedita.'

'This isn't my closet - this is my room.'

"Honey, are you hoarding lawyers again?"

"Hi honey, could you run by the bookstore on the way home? We're almost out of poetry."

Man reading 'Amnesia volume 1' while having a bookshelf full of 'Amnesia Volume 1'

'Damn it! Wait your turn!'

"Mother, take your time, I know this isn’t easy for you. But this is an important moment in our lives, so I will ask you one more time, what on earth did you do with my old comic books?!"

"They're all the books I've self published on amazon."

'If it's my food supply for the winter then its different from hoarding.'

Computer announces to user: 'You now have more files than Al Capone had under his pillow in Alcatraz.'

"We saved all your old diapers."