Quirky Hoarder Gifts

Toilet Paper Inheritance

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Larry's used art

'That's our mission statement.'

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

Seagiraffes

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

Raincloud Umbrella

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Duck Hunt

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

Thinks he's too cool for school.

'And the cat is due back in 2 weeks.'

Early cyborg.

Best before 65 million BC.

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

"Sorry I locked us out of the ship but if waving this cloth we found makes you happy. . . I'll be happy to do it."

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

Ice shelfie.

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

Self-Help Books Families for Lockdown

'Anorak anoraks'.

A trevor of trainspotters

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

Inflating Boobs.