Quirky Hoarder Pillows

Toilet Paper Inheritance

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

Larry's used art

'That's our mission statement.'

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

Seagiraffes

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

"Sorry. I just find rotating my head helps me to relax during the test."

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Raincloud Umbrella

Duck Hunt

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

Thinks he's too cool for school.

Early cyborg.

'And the cat is due back in 2 weeks.'

Best before 65 million BC.

"I don't know about you, but it always makes me feel kinda special."

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

"Trust me, this is as weird for me as it is for you."

"Now, why didn't I think of that?"

A man walks his dog wearing a cone.

"Oh, I'm thrilled with my new dog! He's sort of a hunter/retriever/plumber/electrician."

Ice shelfie.

"Dear? The toothpaste is on the top shelf. Don't touch the tube on the bottom shelf, that's Grandma's triple strength epoxy denture adhesive."

"Sorry I locked us out of the ship but if waving this cloth we found makes you happy. . . I'll be happy to do it."

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

Self-Help Books Families for Lockdown

'Anorak anoraks'.

A trevor of trainspotters

Fred Dinsdale - Forensic expert.

"I'll give you $5 for that shirt."