Humor Hoarder Gifts

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

"Buckle up. We're in the midst of an unprecedented breadcrumb recession."

"My father said I was too big for my britches!"

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

"Sorry I locked us out of the ship but if waving this cloth we found makes you happy. . . I'll be happy to do it."

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'

"Forget the harps, we can spend Eternity in there."

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

"Sorry, there's no toilet paper or hand sanitizer down here."

"I plan to retire when bank robbery becomes legal!"

"Hi honey, do we need anything for the junk drawer?"

'Steven! Those nuts are for guests! Stop hiding them!'

"I don't think you're getting the point of this exercise."

'Pay bills, stick to a budget, plan ahead.'

"Mother, take your time, I know this isn’t easy for you. But this is an important moment in our lives, so I will ask you one more time, what on earth did you do with my old comic books?!"

"He is so gross: He is a hoarder you see, and keeps all his old skins..."

Computer announces to user: 'You now have more files than Al Capone had under his pillow in Alcatraz.'

"We do have a wonderful art collection, but it has taken over somewhat: We either need to have a bower or get professional help..."

'Still saving money to finish that nose job eh?'

Of course it's filled with my old skins, it's my shed.

Bad News Headlines: War in Iraq...Largest Peace Time Deficit.

"Read? I don't read. I just collect."

Colin liked to keep up with all the very latest technologies

"Oh, it's not food, it's my money: I don't trust banks..."

"Constipated, what a *#*##**# joke!!"

"After this, we'll set down some traps. That should deal with the rest of them."

Hoarder Collie

"This pandemic's made me stop, reflect and think about the important things in life - the things we forgot to panic buy and hoard!"

A barrage of CDs.

The Tooth Fairy soon realized that her collection of teeth had gotten out of hand. She was a hoarder and needed help.

"Aside from the hours of DVR'ed shows you have yet to watch, what else keeps you together?"

Ernie, cramming a lifetime's worth of junk into every cupboard, closet and corner of your home makes you a hoarder, not a prepper.