Hoarding Humorists Gifts

Hoarder Collie

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

"Sorry I locked us out of the ship but if waving this cloth we found makes you happy. . . I'll be happy to do it."

'Kix? Yes, Ma'am -- you can get your Kix on aisle 66.'

Don't tell my wife. Dragon head.

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

"O.K., one last big rhubarb score. But then I'm out of the pie game for good."

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

"Hey samson, nice man bun."

"Sorry, there's no toilet paper or hand sanitizer down here."

'Steven! Those nuts are for guests! Stop hiding them!'

"Hi honey, do we need anything for the junk drawer?"

"My father said I was too big for my britches!"

"I had money problems- forged fivers the wrong colour!"

"Buckle up. We're in the midst of an unprecedented breadcrumb recession."

"I plan to retire when bank robbery becomes legal!"

It looks like wood, but it's actually vinyl siding.

Oh, one door closes, another opens -- How have you been?

"I don't think you're getting the point of this exercise."

'Pay bills, stick to a budget, plan ahead.'

"He is so gross: He is a hoarder you see, and keeps all his old skins..."

Urp! Homo Eructus.

Bureau of alcohol, tobacco, firearms and other neat stuff.

'Ha! OK Eddie. You owe me 50 bucks!'

"Is the snapper fresh?"

Born Cynical,,,,

Self-Help Books / Fixing Others.

Valentines for Real Estate

"His schlock has gravitas."

"Well, you did say that you were just looking for something to get you started on the property ladder."

When Pyromaniacs Buy A Home: 'This is a great starter home.'

Seven Deadly Sins. Anger. Envy. Covetousness. Gluttony. Lust. Sloth. Pride. After you've successfully resisted the other six deadly sins, it's really hard not to be proud.

Estate agents lined up for sale during house-price slump.