Comedy Cartoons Hoarder Gifts

"Sorry I locked us out of the ship but if waving this cloth we found makes you happy. . . I'll be happy to do it."

A large leaf falling on a dog

"But he had a mask and I thought he was a burglar."

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

'Excuse me could you please direct me to the nearest toilet?'

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

Next year, we are NOT going to Costco.

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

"Greetings, Earthling - Are you a worker or a drone?"

Are you the guy who ate my brother?

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

The Karate Kitten.

"Really! A firecracker! Test his nerves! Where do you come up with these stupid ideas?"

"Okay, I've got lousy bedside manner, but I draw a smiley faces on all your prescriptions."

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

'Good work Jenkins Whisting the National anthem Genius'

Broken since March

Car Rides - Cats

"Hypochondriac's handbook. A little passion project I'm working on;, or, rather, I would be working on."

"He's in training for the World Cup."

"Sorry, there's no toilet paper or hand sanitizer down here."

'We're all experts in one thing or another. For instance, I consider myself something of a specialist in fluid dynamics...'

Natural Selection: Animal Defense Mechanisms

"I know we're supposed to get rid of 'superbugs', but ours is the only one that understands the IT systems!"

'Why should I be scared? I'm not a crow...'

"I'm not sure...I think the animals have been acting differently since we started feeding them that genetically modified stuff!"

'Bob, I was just trying to get you on the phone to see what all that noise outside was about.'

Evolution steps for man and for insect.

I'm WAAAY beyond Kinder Surprise!

"Hi honey, do we need anything for the junk drawer?"

'Steven! Those nuts are for guests! Stop hiding them!'

"So, Martin, how long has it been since you last felt the urge to 'upskirt'?"

Old man has a walking stick case.

"Well, just when can you call for it, Mr. Harper?"