Humorous Hoarder Gifts

'Pay bills, stick to a budget, plan ahead.'

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

"Sorry I locked us out of the ship but if waving this cloth we found makes you happy. . . I'll be happy to do it."

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'

"Forget the harps, we can spend Eternity in there."

Bobbies library of jeans

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

"All my stuff is 'Rosebud'."

"Sorry, there's no toilet paper or hand sanitizer down here."

"I plan to retire when bank robbery becomes legal!"

"My father said I was too big for my britches!"

"Buckle up. We're in the midst of an unprecedented breadcrumb recession."

"Hi honey, do we need anything for the junk drawer?"

'Steven! Those nuts are for guests! Stop hiding them!'

"I don't think you're getting the point of this exercise."

"He is so gross: He is a hoarder you see, and keeps all his old skins..."

"We do have a wonderful art collection, but it has taken over somewhat: We either need to have a bower or get professional help..."

'Still saving money to finish that nose job eh?'

Bad News Headlines: War in Iraq...Largest Peace Time Deficit.

Of course it's filled with my old skins, it's my shed.

"Read? I don't read. I just collect."

"After this, we'll set down some traps. That should deal with the rest of them."

"Constipated, what a *#*##**# joke!!"

"Some day, son, all my reports, class notes, and handouts I saved since elementary school will be yours."

"Oh, it's not food, it's my money: I don't trust banks..."

The Tooth Fairy soon realized that her collection of teeth had gotten out of hand. She was a hoarder and needed help.

"This pandemic's made me stop, reflect and think about the important things in life - the things we forgot to panic buy and hoard!"

"Aside from the hours of DVR'ed shows you have yet to watch, what else keeps you together?"

Hoarder Collie

"You know what I want for our twentieth anniversary? A Dumpster."

"Collects his paper every morning - regular as clockwork!"

"So where have you been?"

"I think we've hit peak rock."