Ham Hoarder Gifts

Man with meat getting chased by dogs

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'

Festive squad

"She just loves them - she's a total girl horse."

'Look, if we're going to make this business work, we need to stop eating all the stock.'

"Hi honey, do we need anything for the junk drawer?"

"Buckle up. We're in the midst of an unprecedented breadcrumb recession."

'Looks like they decided not to g south this winter.'

"My father said I was too big for my britches!"

I see you've caught my honey robber.'

James Russell Lowell

"I don't think you're getting the point of this exercise."

'Pay bills, stick to a budget, plan ahead.'

Amazon Prime Day ~ The Aftermath

'Oh good, it looks like the few things I ordered from the catalogue have arrived.'

'I hear he's lobbying for tax laws that will let him declare us his dependents.'

Were you aware, minion, that bees are dying off by the millions all over North America? No. Studies show it was caused by a certain type of pesticide that was introduced in the 1990s. A pesticide that nobody can prove was concocted by a young man in my - I mean, his - basement. Anyone who thought ahead and stocked an underground cavern with 50 tons of honey is going to clean up. Hypothetically speaking, of course. Very bad man.

Everyday is cyber Monday.

"I bet you couldn't eat three."

Bad News Headlines: War in Iraq...Largest Peace Time Deficit.

'Still saving money to finish that nose job eh?'

This isn't the magic top hat, either – I told you we were lost.

Recycling bins for glass, paper, metal and IDEAS.

"Wait a minute - you're Ellie Pobursky, the famous handbag designer!"

'He's so proud of his art collection.'

'I think I'll get out of the crazy stock market and invest in something secure, something like bee keeping.'

'Yes Ma'am, I do pick up unwanted hives.'

"You know what I want for our twentieth anniversary? A Dumpster."

"I knew I shouldn't have given you the tickets!"

"Hey, do I look like I'm made of honey?"

No Smoking sign next to a bee hive.