Hoarder Hero Gifts

'Over there! Isn't that my missing ceramic frying pan?'

The Hobby Store

"Sorry I locked us out of the ship but if waving this cloth we found makes you happy. . . I'll be happy to do it."

'Looks like somebody needs to lay off of the authentic angel food cake!'

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

"Forget the harps, we can spend Eternity in there."

'Yes, they were using it to clean up the graffiti!'

"I don't know...seems like budget cuts have gone pretty far this year."

"Buckle up. We're in the midst of an unprecedented breadcrumb recession."

"Hi honey, do we need anything for the junk drawer?"

"My father said I was too big for my britches!"

"I don't think you're getting the point of this exercise."

'This isn't my closet - this is my room.'

"I fly so often, not only am I accumulating miles, I'm actually starting to sprout wings."

"He is so gross: He is a hoarder you see, and keeps all his old skins..."

Bad News Headlines: War in Iraq...Largest Peace Time Deficit.

'Still saving money to finish that nose job eh?'

'I see you've laid up for yourselves treasures in heaven. Is this some sort of tax dodge?'

"Aside from the hours of DVR'ed shows you have yet to watch, what else keeps you together?"

"You know what I want for our twentieth anniversary? A Dumpster."

'As a general rule of thumb, if your only assets are your frequent flyer miles, you don't need to create a trust for your children.'

"I will not buy a fridge magnet. . ."

"Collects his paper every morning - regular as clockwork!"

"So where have you been?"

"Aren't you supposed to get rid of the old mobile, when you buy a new one."

Man with meat getting chased by dogs

Toilet Paper Inheritance

Discovering who steals all the pens in the office.

"You can have my disinfectant when you pry it from my cold, dead hands!"

Plagiarism...