Food Hoarder Pillows

'I knew I needed help when I started going to fast food places only at night so I wouldn't have to share with sea gulls.'

Sometimes hearing, 'You're nuts!' is a good thing.

"I hate going to the grocery store, so I bought a refrigerator that holds enough food for a year."

'That's our mission statement.'

"I always end up buying way more black-truffle honey than I intended."

Old Spice

"There is a great deal of evidence that big savings can be made if departments shared resources... But I suspect that implementing the changes might be problematic if we can't even get Norman to lend out his pencil sharpener."

'Look, if we're going to make this business work, we need to stop eating all the stock.'

"Tia Carmen's Bucket List: pulling a 7-day telenovela bender."

I see you've caught my honey robber.'

"Bad news Dad, I've just received an e-Alert: The farmer's wife has downloaded a "Coq au Vin" recipe..."

'I hear he's lobbying for tax laws that will let him declare us his dependents.'

Man emerges from baby changing room, having changed his baby for a crate of beer.

"You just can't accept that I've found someone 'extra special'." Best bitter / Pale Ale / Tennants Very Very Strong Lager.

'You have a file cabinet full of recipes you're printed off. The only way 99% of them will ever make it into our stomachs is if we the printer paper.'

Ants take cheese and grater

Camper special! PORK 'N' BEANS...50 gallons...only $49.99...Limit: 3 per customer.

"I need a vet."

'It's my secret recipe.'

'I'll tell you my secret peanut butter recipe, but please don't spread it.'

"I'm stockpiling food for a 'No Deal' Brexit."

'Biscuit?' 'Leave it in the in-tray for the morning.'

"We've got 749 cookbooks...why are we eating cheese on toast?"

'Are you eligible to join 'Miser' the high accrue society?'

"By the time you take my picture and email it to Grandma, all the good candy will be gone!"

A barrage of CDs.

'I think I'll get out of the crazy stock market and invest in something secure, something like bee keeping.'

"I will not buy a fridge magnet. . ."

"I got this many because I heard there was a shortage."

"Aren't you supposed to get rid of the old mobile, when you buy a new one."

No Smoking sign next to a bee hive.

'The test-results are back... I'm afraid it's quite serious: You're allergic to pollen...'

"Collects his paper every morning - regular as clockwork!"

"I bought a new canopener, but let's save the old one in case we ever have a need for a broken canopener."