Recipe Hoarders Pillows

'You have a file cabinet full of recipes you're printed off. The only way 99% of them will ever make it into our stomachs is if we the printer paper.'

Come dine with me!

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

"Another dry scotch Manhattan, Mike. Make it a double."

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

Vegetable Cook

"Oh joy. Looks like the turkey is almost done..."

'Men's cooking'

How to correctly estimate cooking time

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

An Advance Visit From The Three Wise Men

Old Spice

Cook in the cookery section.

How to make an unforgettable dinner for four

"Then add one extra large egg..."

Seminal moments in Chicken History

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

My old recipes have so many food stains they're practically scratch and sniff.

"There is a great deal of evidence that big savings can be made if departments shared resources... But I suspect that implementing the changes might be problematic if we can't even get Norman to lend out his pencil sharpener."

'Stop him, he's got the receipe.' Duck running away

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

A man with a sign that reads "Secret of my chili $1".

"I bought you a cook book. Think of it as technical support."