Recipe Keeper Pillows

"... brisket ...recipe. Hide it."

'Thanks for asking me to share the recipe. However, I never reveal my sauces.'

Come dine with me!

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

Two books: 'The Joy of Cooking' next to 'The Joy of Dieting'.

'You realize we're only having three people over...'

"It's the sequel to 'Cooking for One'."

"'TSP' stands for 'teaspoon' not 'two solid pounds'!"

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"No, Mother, I don't think Julian Assange is going to leak your recipe for fruitcake."

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

In the DNA Kitchen

'Men's cooking'

"Did you remove the bay leaf?"

Vegetable Cook

How to correctly estimate cooking time

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

"Keep in mind, this dish is best served in a restaurant cooked by anyone other than you."

An Advance Visit From The Three Wise Men

"My God!!..Just how long have we had this Broccoli hiding in the back of the fridge?"

How to make an unforgettable dinner for four

Cook in the cookery section.

Seminal moments in Chicken History

"It's my family's special recipe, passed down through generations on the cream cheese package."

'Preparing free-range chicken requires an extremely patient chef.'

My old recipes have so many food stains they're practically scratch and sniff.

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

"Wait a minute- these are just the ten commandments of perfect mashed potatoes."

A man with a sign that reads "Secret of my chili $1".

"I couldn't have made my family recipe raisin date nut cake with it's secret ingredient without Jimmy's help."

Woman reads Nigella Lawson cook book: 'Add butter to the mixture, remembering to moisten your lips ... whisk for three to four minutes, pouting throughout ...'

The Nervous Gourmet:Low-Risk Chicken

"I bought you a cook book. Think of it as technical support."

'It's amazing how many recipes you can find with courgettes in them when you have to'