Savings Savant Gifts

Beef: small loans available.

'What wine goes well with a limited expense account?'

Pension Schemes, Pension Scams

Scrooge and his piggy bank

'Al's Plumbing now offering Faucets for 50 off, 7 CDs and No Minimum Passbook Savings.'

'That's my savings for a rainy day. Actually, it's more like for a sun shower.'

"Once I started doing tech-support for family and friends, i had to get a bigger piggy bank."

"I'm conservative with my money like you, Granddad. I keep my piggy bank under my mattress."

Piggy Bank ATM

"You can see, we made huge savings by firing the research department and just using Wikipedia."

Nest eggs - financial planning

'And the name of your bank, please?'

Absolutely the First National Bank.

"And when you've saved up enough money, what are you going to say in in your full-page ad in the New York Times?"

Thrift: Fat people, wear a dress and a wig and enjoy the benefits of being pregnant.

'The forever stamps I purchased at 42 cents are now 44 cents. That's an annual apprciation of 2 which is more than you earned on your investment portfolio.'

Easter Bunny HQ. We'll need to add more staff this year --- They also want us to hide their nest eggs.

My latest invention is genius. It's an affinity card for our best customers. That's not a new idea. Airlines, rental car agencies, hotels … They all have loyalty programs where you can earn discounts and special treatment. Spare me. Ours has a way better name: The Cafe Exclusive VIP Premier Executive Best Customer Reward Program. And we don't trouble customers with confusing discounts and benefits. All hail the VIP premier cheapskate.

Businessmen trying to prop up a line-chart with sticks

'Looks like your cash cow just got diverted to the slaughterhouse.'

It's okay Mom! As a broker, I'm under supervision of the SEC!

"I just..."

"Forget the allowance - I need a benefactor!"

'As you go through life, always remember that money isn't everything...Health benefits and stock options are also very important.'

"It failed the stress test."

"Ultimately, we realized we share too many app subscriptions not to make it work."

"Up market, down market - he's still the same old curmudgeon."

'My piggy bank charged shaking fees.'

'We need people who dream the impossible dreams - like pensions and health care.'

"In an unexpected development, the market behaved rationally today."

'That's where they keep all the money I don't have anymore.'

RRSP once stood for Registered Retirement Savings Plan, now stands for Really, Really Small Potatoes!

'I think it's time to reboot your fiscal compass.'

A statue of a businessman in a park with an inscription that reads "Outperformed the market".

'No doubt about it, John, zero does represent a critical support level for this stock.'